Rudeness & Disobedience

More fetlife stuff.

Question was: How do I (as a submissive) stop being rude, argumentative and disobedient?

I think it's mostly a matter of practice, time and conscious effort.

Pause before you react or speak and process what he's saying and then respond in as thoughtful a manner as you can manage. Remember that he has feelings too and is also new. He's going to have to practice his dominance and the better the response he gets from you, the more likely he will to do it more.

It's a symbiotic thing.If you make his life miserable when he asks you for something simple, you will train him to ask for nothing. That might be a good reason to work on this behavior right there.

As Lucky Albatross has also advised before, think up 5 things that really pushes your buttons. Things that are simple, require little to no set up, and makes you feel all that submissive yummyness. Write it down and give it to him. It could be things he says, things he does, a particular gesture, whatever. Basically, a cheat sheet.

Many submissives want their dominants to "just do it" but they honestly cannot read your mind. There is nothing wrong with making requests. He can then choose what he will do with it and it might humble you a bit to feel the emotions surrounding that.Many D/s relationships have no punishment component whatsoever. You should talk to your dominant about what, if any, he would like to incorporate.

While it can feel yummy to have rules, the more rules there are, the more he will have to enforce them or you will just break them, so it's probably best to keep them to a minimum.

My Daddy's philosophy is that spanking is for good girls & fun. There is no reward of attention for crappy behavior on my part, so I definitely try to keep it to a minimum.

Communication & transparency are super important, but it can be difficult if you have trust issues (is he going to use it against me, is he going to laugh at me, will he accept me, etc) to open up. It puts you in a vulnerable position. That can be a valuable place to be in and it certainly can feel very submissive. So perhaps explore some of that. Tell him some of your worries or fears, some fantasies you are excited/scared by, and lots of positive feedback for him (it was so hot when you did or I love it when you do ).

Just some thoughts. I hope they are of assistance.